


cardboard man: nate archibald

by ivermectin



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s01e08 Seventeen Candles, Gen, POV Nate Archibald, Pretty heavily show canon but vaguely influenced by the book also, Referenced Background Nate/Blair (if you watched the episode you know what I mean), implied Nate/Chuck (but very slightly), small reference to chuck being terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28913451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivermectin/pseuds/ivermectin
Summary: But he’s just Nate Archibald. What value do any of those words have coming from him, anyway? He’s like a cardboard man, not even a real thing, two-dimensional, sitting on the sidewalk holding a fucking engagement ring. There isn’t a damn thing he can give Jenny.
Relationships: Nate Archibald & Jenny Humphrey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	cardboard man: nate archibald

**Author's Note:**

> that bit in 1x08 where nate & jenny just sit and talk has always struck a chord in me; i've been wanting to write this forever.  
> i really wish that they'd kept this friendship & built on it, because they could've helped & supported each other!! instead of... *gestures to the show* whatever all that was.

The ring gleams in the darkness of the night, safely nestled in the box it’s in, a promise that will not be kept. Nate is sixteen, and he’s never been known for his commitment. His attention has always been too easily caught by other things, head too easily turned. Whatever role his parents have requested he play, of dependable and steady Nathaniel Archibald, is an entirely fictious person.

He’s sitting here on some steps, in the cold damp November night with a girl he barely knows who looks at him with eyes which are hopeful, confused, empathetic but attentive. Like she’s really listening, like she really wants to know what he has to say. Not shrewd, not pushing. Just waiting.

Jenny Humphrey, age fourteen. Looking for a way into their world, he’ll learn later. She has less real friends than she has fingers on her right hand. He can empathize with that; he’s the same way, always has been.

Except: Jenny wants in. Nate wants out. This, also, he will only learn later.

“If I do this now, when does it ever stop?” Nate asks, quiet. He hasn’t told anyone else about this, about the way his parents are pressuring him, about the guilt and wrongness he feels, about how all he’s ever wanted is to make the people he loves happy, but it seems like none of them will ever return the favour, how he’s in a corner where it doesn’t matter what choice he makes, somebody will end up getting hurt.

Jenny looks at him, her eyes clear. Gently, but firmly, she says, “It’ll only stop when you stop it.”

The pressure of everything around him feels like it’s practically choking him, and he knows it’s going to get worse. Nobody really believes Nate capable of any sort of strength, and he knows why they see him as spineless; because he’s earned that reputation. He’s best friends with Chuck Bass and prides himself on being a nice guy, looks away and pretends he doesn’t see the things Chuck does and gets away with. When has Nate ever done the right thing? He wore the sweater with Blair’s metallic heart stitched in but barely even thought about it until the metal pressed against his wrist, like a cool reminder.

The warm feeling in his stomach, when Chuck smiled at him – he convinced himself that he couldn’t lose that. That Chuck would stop being the way he was, that he would grow into a better person. It was bound to happen at some point. People change, after all, don’t they?

Fresh guilt sets in. Somewhere, unwarranted, he finds himself keenly aware of Jenny’s innocent enthusiasm, her sincerity, and he’s afraid for her, for a moment, with a sharpness that startles him.

Nobody makes it out of their world alive.

“I don’t like the person I’m becoming, Jenny,” Nate says, quiet, soft, like a confession he’s making to himself.

“You’re the only person who can do something about that,” Jenny says, but it’s kind.

It’s what he needs to hear, but it’s not sugarcoated either.

He wants to tell her something valuable, something thoughtful. Something like, you’re a wonderful person, a thoughtful person, a caring person, and the world we live in is out to get you. There are people out there who want to ruin your life, who want to exploit your kindness. Something like, don’t let them do it, something like, remember you owe nobody anything, that you belong to yourself first and foremost.

But he’s just Nate Archibald. What value do any of those words have coming from him, anyway? He’s like a cardboard man, not even a real thing, two-dimensional, sitting on the sidewalk holding a fucking engagement ring. There isn’t a damn thing he can give Jenny.

“It’s like a whirlpool,” Nate says eloquently, pushing his bangs out of his face, leaning back a little. “You get too close and you get sucked in. I’m too entangled in everyone else, I don’t know if I can ever just by myself anymore.”

Jenny nods, solemn. And then she elbows Nate gently, points up at the sky. “Look,” she says. “A shooting star. Make a wish.”

Nate does, and for a moment, he believes everything will be alright.

Meanwhile, at Kati’s brother’s place, Serena’s brandishing Blair’s birthday cake, alight with candles. This is the one day of the year Blair lets herself be a little girl, lets herself be happy.

“Make a wish, Blair!”

Blair’s face crumples. Her eyes are suspiciously shiny, and with a voice thickened by misery, bitterness, sadness and resignation, she says, “It already didn’t come true.”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i was going to put this in the a/n up there, but it got too long & felt like TMI given that the person reading the note on top hasn't even read the fic, lol. but, for anyone who's curious: i found jenny/nate in the 2 books that i'd read pretty sweet, and i wanted some things from their book dynamic to translate in here, even though this fic is very much show canon. so, we've got: jenny not having any expectations of nate, like in the books (well, the 2 that i've read) + jenny being insightful and having good advice, like in the show.
> 
> feel free to hmu @ bisexualdanhumphrey on tumblr, where my hobbies include talking too much about this trash show and blocking anons who send me jenny hate ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
